Thursday, 28 November 2013

How To Not Marry A Millionaire

One of the all time important questions in life is: How can I get a millionaire to marry me?

Well sadly, we cannot assist you in this query but what we can do is show you how definitely not to go about it. 

The first thing you do is find a website called or something along those lines:

Preferably one with a classy look, like this.

 Then, create a profile on said site:

Picture on the right clearly indicates that the standard of people on this site is very high. Obviously.

Then, once your profile has been activated, enjoy the hoards of gorgeous millionaire admirers, longing to be your soulmate:

Then, write an email to the support team regarding some important issues that you have with the site:

Then, when they don't reply immediately, write to their excellent customer service chat:

Then have your profile deleted for no good reason:

A horrible mistake, obviously.

Then, immediately write to the excellent customer service team again, to sort out this horrible mistake:

It says 'Danny' but the tone and photo clearly indicates that it is Marie again. I know what you're up to, Marie!
But I'll play along with your mind games, you temptress, if that's what makes you happy!

Then, finally accept that you have been found wanting by people who clearly know what they are talking about, and spend the rest of your evening crying into your keyboard in the knowledge that you shall never be a millionaire's wife.

The End.

The Sad Sad End.

Saturday, 9 November 2013

Arts & Crafts - Halloween Edition

So even though Halloween has already come and gone, we thought we'd share with you how we spent this most Gothic of all holidays.

We all know that any kind of holiday is just an excuse to get more drunk than usual, which in our case makes most days a holiday. 

Halloween is of course no exception, and for your viewing pleasure we decided to chronicle our celebration of this years Samhain, which featured everything from traditional vegetable mutilation to heaps of glitter and wearing ridiculous head wear. 

If you’re ever bored, we heartily recommend getting absolutely plastered and then attempt to do arts and crafts. ‘Attempt’ being the operative word here.*

The fun doesn’t stop there, though. While you may think that our ramblings are weird, they are nothing compared to YouTube’s automatic captions. Below we’ve sampled some of them, and as you can tell they make about as much sense as watching a David Lynch movie backwards on acid while wearing an 18-piece suit designed by lady Gaga.

Self reflection is a very important thing and we’re impressed that YouTube is aware of its own shortcomings.

Just like we are perfectly aware that we don’t have any. 

Naturally, despair looping should be avoided at all cost, as it can lead to everything from inverted pancake syndrome to unexpected surplus of limericks.

Yes, Satan. Do it. Do eeeeet. Do it now.

Well obviously. What else would you do with furry art.

Here it seems our dear YouTube suffers a complete mental breakdown, but unfortunately we don’t know any psychiatrists that specialize in deranged websites.

This caption actually looks more like someone subtitled Flegs’ thoughts. There’s always at least one naked man rummaging around in that head of hers at any given moment.

Here we see YouTube really trying to make a point, as illustrated by the capitalized ‘NOT’, although we’re still not sure what that point is.  

*Our advice is always based on extensive testing through personal experience. We test the theories so you don’t have to! And you’re welcome, by the way.

Magic Happens When Weirdos Meet

Hi! Hello there. How's it going? Well, now that you're here we guarantee that regardless of how it was going, it will be going even better!

But first thing's first; Introductions are in order:

We have many skills, and clearly "photogenic" is one of them.

We are basically two odd individuals who make videos about our life. Sort of a reality show, but with a bit more quirkiness and feathers. Lots and lots of feathers. Why, you ask? Who knows. We sure as hell don't and we're the ones doing it.

We find that trying to understand things just leads to a lot of confusion, so we recommend just going with the flow and enjoying the ride. Much like Bill Hicks once said . Smart guy, Bill Hicks.

But how did this whole relationship actually come about? Well, we had actually met about a year before the Tenacious D concert, but never really talked that much because we had no idea how uncannily similar we were. At the concert we both had the grand idea to throw a pair of panties at Jack Black and Kyle Gass while flashing our boobies and a beautiful friendship was born.

Since we were completely infatuated with the amazing experience of the Tenacious D concert, we decided to travel to Germany 6 days later to hear the last concert on the first leg of their European tour, and subsequently spent 4 days together having the grandest time.

It was during those days that it became apparent we both had a love of sketch comedy, and decided to start up our own comedy duo project under the name 'The Mindbin'. During our first endeavors into the world of YouTube content creation, we realised that we had to chronicle our adventures, since they were often even more hilarious than the videos we made.

So without further ado, here is the first Flegs & Rez diary video. It's basically about what happened when we got our first taste of fame on the YouTube. In all our videos, some of the events are exaggerated, some of them are true and some are completely imaginary.

But who cares as long as it's funny.