Thursday, 28 November 2013

How To Not Marry A Millionaire

One of the all time important questions in life is: How can I get a millionaire to marry me?

Well sadly, we cannot assist you in this query but what we can do is show you how definitely not to go about it. 

The first thing you do is find a website called or something along those lines:

Preferably one with a classy look, like this.

 Then, create a profile on said site:

Picture on the right clearly indicates that the standard of people on this site is very high. Obviously.

Then, once your profile has been activated, enjoy the hoards of gorgeous millionaire admirers, longing to be your soulmate:

Then, write an email to the support team regarding some important issues that you have with the site:

Then, when they don't reply immediately, write to their excellent customer service chat:

Then have your profile deleted for no good reason:

A horrible mistake, obviously.

Then, immediately write to the excellent customer service team again, to sort out this horrible mistake:

It says 'Danny' but the tone and photo clearly indicates that it is Marie again. I know what you're up to, Marie!
But I'll play along with your mind games, you temptress, if that's what makes you happy!

Then, finally accept that you have been found wanting by people who clearly know what they are talking about, and spend the rest of your evening crying into your keyboard in the knowledge that you shall never be a millionaire's wife.

The End.

The Sad Sad End.

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